Meh

Oh, by the way, they (whoever "they" is) are trying to get the word "meh" in the English dictionary. Exciting, ne? My use of this word will finally be justified!

Anyway, just had a nice little epiphany, I guess you could say.  Things aren't going as I planned at all; My grades were mediocre, I didn't get into UT, and I may be growing apart from some of my really good friends. And up until recently, I thought all of this was terrible. I was really depressed about it.

But maybe it's a good thing.  I can't really think of a bright side to the shitty grades, but maybe not getting into UT is a good thing.  It could very well be a test of my determination. Like, do I really want it badly enough to continue working for it, even through failure (which I do not take very well)? 

And perhaps I needed to stay in Houston.  Maybe I wasn't quite ready to leave when I did for San Antonio... Maybe I need to "find myself" first, or at least figure a few things out.  I don't know.  All I know, is living here isn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I'm happy.  Maybe I'll get to UT when I'm actually ready to leave.

And the friends thing... I hate to say it, but that could be a good thing too.  It may be that my other friends were inhibiting to my.. I don't know... growth? Like, it's not as though they did anything wrong. Just, a weird "it's not you, it's me" thing, that maybe they held me down unintentionally.  And the people I'm growing closer to right now are great... These will be the people I'll be spending all of next semester with, which means we'll grow even closer.  Perhaps I was supposed to get to know these people.  Maybe they're the next step in "discovering myself."

And of course, this is all speculation.  This could just be me making the best out of a really shitty circumstance.  I'm sure I'll feel just as bad about this tomorrow as I did a few weeks ago.

But I'll take advantage of this current optimistic mood, and say: This is not the end of the world.  My life will go on, and I'll learn from this.

Haha, wow, sometimes you don't realize that you have something to say until you start blogging ^^

Night, all