What good are goals with no drive?

I've been really down lately for some reason.  I think I know what the reason is, but I hate that it affects me at all, so I refuse to acknowledge it.  I guess what really matters is what I intend to do about it, anyway.

So I've been spending the last few weeks sulking, and it's ridiculous.  I cannot waste my last couple of weeks of -Freshman year- of college this way.  And I think what may help... seems too long term and hard to even be worth it.  But if I never try, how will I know? Who knows, it could be great.  Solve all my problems.  Make me feel a little better about myself.

Right now, I'm just anxious for summer.  As if that will solve all my problems...  But I realize that it won't.  I'll have to get a job, a few of my best friends have moved so I won't even see them, I may have to have some unpleasant confrontations.  I need to stop waiting for things to get better, and instead actively put into action things that -will- make it better.

I can't just wait around for next year, either.  It'll be great living in Austin (if that ends up happening), but I'm sure I'll feel like a failure the entire first semester... Every one of my friends made it into UT, as well as all three of my roommates.  Constant reminders.  I'll be the one that didn't get in.  The one that wasn't smart enough/hardworking enough to pull through.  Obviously no one will say that, but it's what I'll be thinking the entire time.  All of my friends are so smart! Ugh.

So anyway, point is, I'm gonna try to actually achieve my goals for once.  I've got the whole "dancing through life" thing going, for those of you who have seen Wicked.  Maybe it's time (actually, it's way past time) to stop just getting by okay, and start working my hardest and making something out of myself.

This is probably one of my goals that I will be too lazy to work toward, but I've always felt that writing things down (especially where people can see them) keeps me motivated.  Accountability does wonders for me.

Whew, first long blog post! Finally, haha.  Now you know a little bit about what's going on in my life.  Unless I'm being too vague... Which I probably am ^_~

Goodnight all.

Btw, pic unrelated. But so effing cute.